What kind of friend to God are you?

Nov 7, 2014 | Articles

There are two separate Greek words translated ‘friend’ in the New Testament and they have different meanings. Let’s look at both:

The first is ‘philos‘ which is used in the New Testament on several occasions and always has a positive connotation:

John 15:14-15 “You are My friends (philos) if you do whatever I command you. No longer do I call you servants, for a servant does not know what his master is doing; but I have called you friends (philos), for all things that I heard from My Father I have made known to you.”

James 2:21-23 “Was not Abraham our father justified by works when he offered Isaac his son on the altar? Do you see that faith was working together with his works, and by works faith was made perfect? And the Scripture was fulfilled which says, “Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness.” And he was called the friend (philos) of God.” (James 2:23)

This sort of scriptural accolade as a ‘friend’ of God truly boggles the mind. How does a person come to be called by God a ‘friend?’ Amazingly, putting together the words of James (about Abraham) and the words of Jesus (in John 15) we find that to be the ‘friend’ of God simply requires doing whatever He commands us to do!

What an staggering and sublime thought that by doing God’s will we can have a relationship with the eternal Creator on the level of friendship! He wishes to have us as His ‘philos’!

The second word translated ‘friend’ from Greek is ‘hetarios‘ which is used only three (or four) times in the New Testament (all in the gospel of Matthew). Unlike ‘philos’, each time scripture uses ‘hetarios’ it has a negative association. Let’s look at each of the three undisputed usages:

1) The Parable of the Landowner Who Hired Servants

Matthew 20: 1-16: “For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire laborers for his vineyard. Now when he had agreed with the laborers for a denarius a day, he sent them into his vineyard. And he went out about the third hour and saw others standing idle in the marketplace, and said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right I will give you.’ So they went. Again he went out about the sixth and the ninth hour, and did likewise. And about the eleventh hour he went out and found others standing idle, and said to them, ‘Why have you been standing here idle all day?’ They said to him, ‘Because no one hired us.’ He said to them, ‘You also go into the vineyard, and whatever is right you will receive.’

A Denarius from the time of Jesus

“So when evening had come, the owner of the vineyard said to his steward, ‘Call the laborers and give them their wages, beginning with the last to the first.’ And when those came who were hired about the eleventh hour, they each received a denarius. But when the first came, they supposed that they would receive more; and they likewise received each a denarius. And when they had received it, they complained against the landowner, saying, ‘These last men have worked only one hour, and you made them equal to us who have borne the burden and the heat of the day.’ But he answered one of them and said, ‘Friend (hetarios), I am doing you no wrong. Did you not agree with me for a denarius? Take what is yours and go your way. I wish to give to this last man the same as to you. Is it not lawful for me to do what I wish with my own things? Or is your eye evil because I am good?’ So the last will be first, and the first last. For many are called, but few chosen.”

In this parable the landowner (God) addresses the dissatisfied and grumbling workers who were murmuring that their pay for the full day was the same as those who came later in the day. Some workers were hired in the early morning, some at the third hour, others even later up until one hour was left! To the shock of the proud sunrise laborers the landowner pays each of these groups the same amount–even the nocturnal employees get one denarius!

Forgetting their place as fortunate beneficiaries of the grace of the landowner, these wicked men bellyache, gripe, and fuss about the latecomer’s windfall. Rather than satisfaction at their blessed condition to work for such a heavenly ruler, they level criticism and outrage against God. They are no friends of the landowner! These malcontents with an evil eye take His money but they question His motivation and His genuineness. God is understandably angry at the complainers for questioning His divine decrees and warns them that the last will be first and the first last.

We do the same when we question God’s ordinances and scriptural traditions as outmoded and archaic! Are we dissatisfied with the plain and simple truth of the gospel? Do we yearn for the flashy and trendy social gospel of the denominational world? Are we embarrassed at the ‘old path’ principles of obedience, modesty, submission, and humility found in God’s word? Let us avoid the broad path of the grumbling disaffected servant.

Phillipians 2:14-15 Do all things without complaining and disputing, that you may become blameless and harmless, children of God without fault in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world…

2) The Wedding Parable

Our second usage of ‘hetarios’ is found in another parable in Matthew 22:

Matthew 22: 2-14 “The kingdom of heaven is like a certain king who arranged a marriage for his son, and sent out his servants to call those who were invited to the wedding; and they were not willing to come. Again, he sent out other servants, saying, ‘Tell those who are invited, “See, I have prepared my dinner; my oxen and fatted cattle are killed, and all things are ready. Come to the wedding.” ’ But they made light of it and went their ways, one to his own farm, another to his business. And the rest seized his servants, treated them spitefully, and killed them.

But when the king heard about it, he was furious. And he sent out his armies, destroyed those murderers, and burned up their city. Then he said to his servants, ‘The wedding is ready, but those who were invited were not worthy. Therefore go into the highways, and as many as you find, invite to the wedding.’ So those servants went out into the highways and gathered together all whom they found, both bad and good. And the wedding hall was filled with guests.

“…and burned up their city.”

But when the king came in to see the guests, he saw a man there who did not have on a wedding garment. So he said to him, ‘Friend (hetarios), how did you come in here without a wedding garment?’ And he was speechless. Then the king said to the servants, ‘Bind him hand and foot, take him away, and cast him into outer darkness; there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. “For many are called, but few are chosen.”

In this parable the King (God) enters the wedding hall to visit with the Gentile guests who had been invited to the royal wedding because the citizens of the kingdom (the Jews) refused to come. From the back roads, the gravel tracks, and the alleyways the poor, forgotten, and outcast invitees had limped, hobbled, and shuffled into the opulent and regal palace of the King where they were handed a royal wedding garment to replace their dirty rags.

To the horror of the assembled guests, the King finds in this group a man who had refused to wear the supplied wedding garment. Suspicious and disrespectful of the King this man had taken his place in the banquet hall with a firm resolve to rebel against authority. Silence must have fallen over the assembled audience when the King calls him ‘hetairos’ and asks how it was that he had come in without the proper attire.

What was the missing garment? It was the garment of holiness provided by the ALMIGHTY (Isaiah 61:10) that must be put on by the guest (Acts 22:16, 1 Peter 3:21) and kept clean by the guest (Revelation 3:4)! This man had been handed a royal wedding garment but had refused to put it on and thus disrespected the King, His Son, and the marriage ceremony. Sitting there in his filthy odorous foul clothing he is speechless (as all will be on the day of judgment) when the King challenges his arrogant assumptions. He is bound and cast out of the wedding hall into the darkness of hell for his disobedience.

The disrespectful guest of Matthew 22 is not alone. Naaman the Syrian danced perilously close to refusing the cleansing garment of God when he became furious at the command to wash in the muddy river Jordan:

Jordan River in Israel

And Elisha sent a messenger to him, saying, “Go and wash in the Jordan seven times, and your flesh shall be restored to you, and you shall be clean.” But Naaman became furious, and went away and said, “Indeed, I said to myself, ‘He will surely come out to me, and stand and call on the name of the Lord his God, and wave his hand over the place, and heal the leprosy.’ Are not the Abanah and the Pharpar, the rivers of Damascus, better than all the waters of Israel? Could I not wash in them and be clean?” So he turned and went away in a rage. (2 Kings 5:10-12)

Today, many denominational Christians refuse the wedding garment of baptism for the remission of sins (1 Peter 3:21, Acts 22:16) and prefer instead to wear the filthy rags of Calvinism or some other man-made habiliments. They are like the Jews of Luke 7:30: “But the Pharisees and lawyers rejected the will of God for themselves, not having been baptized by him.”

The third usage of ‘hetarios’ is found in Matthew’s account of the garden of Gethsemane:

3) Jesus calls Judas a Friend (Hetarios)

Matthew 26:48-50 Now His betrayer had given them a sign, saying, “Whomever I kiss, He is the One; seize Him.” Immediately he went up to Jesus and said, “Greetings, Rabbi!” and kissed Him. But Jesus said to him, “Friend (hetarios), why have you come?” Then they came and laid hands on Jesus and took Him.

Silver of Judas

Judas was a man who lived and walked with Jesus. He observed the Lord’s perfection, His holiness, and His patient endurance in doing God the Father’s will. Yet, Judas was dissatisfied. He was a grumbler, a whiner, and a greedy duplicitous betrayer who like David’s advisor Ahitophel (2 Samuel 15:31, Psalm 41:9) betrayed the Son of David for earthly gain.

How is it with us today? We too are workers in the Lord’s vineyard, guests at the Lord’s wedding feast, and disciples around the Lord’s table. Do we grumble about pay, do we dirty our wedding garment with sin and refuse to repent, or do we kiss the Savior while betraying His interests for gain? If so, we are hetairos– false friends, posers, and imposters.

No imposter Christians will gain entrance into the marriage supper of the Lamb. Jesus reminds us that many are called, but few are chosen! Brethren let us be philos of God! Let us resolve to stop complaining, get out of our easy chairs, and get on about the Lord’s business with haste! God have mercy on His faithful church of Christ!

–Bart Shaw, Nov 2014 (tbartshaw@hotmail.com)